Merry Christmas 2010 Baby C

Sweet Caroline,

On June 18th of this year your Papa said to you while you were still in the womb, "Baby, tonight the U.S. has their 2nd game in the World Cup at 9-11pm and after that from 1-3 am England will play their 2nd game.  Please, Baby don't come during those games".  You are such a good baby that within five minutes of the last whistle blowing of the U.S. game you started your departure out of the womb and one minute before the starting whistle of the England game you finished your departure and rested in your Papa's arms.  Perfect timing.  At 12:59 am on June 19th I held you for the first time.  It was a moment that I will never forget.  You looked at me with your big brown eyes and I fell in love with you so very deeply.  The first thing that your Papa said to me after your birth was "You gave me another princess".  A Princess you are, indeed.

Just as you came into this world fast you have done everything else fast.  You smiled before you were two weeks old, you rolled over in your second month, you started rocking on your four limbs during your fourth month, started some form of crawling before you were six months, and sat up during your fifth month.  You move at your own pace eager to keep up with your big sister.  You gave us the biggest belly laugh when your sister would bounce a ball in front of you, I have no idea what made that so funny to you.  I wish you would slow down and be my baby for longer but you are teaching me early that you will do things on your own time and that I need to just embrace that about you.  I do, cheers to who you are and to who you will be!

Honestly during week 6-8 of your life I wasn't sure if i was going to make it as a mother of two.  I think you had some stomach issues but whatever it was made you so cranky.  Your sister became more and more jealous of all of the time I was having to spend comforting you.  However, sometime in week 8 you settled into a routine, your sister figured out that she COULD share her Mama and our family became a fluid family of four.  I have loved every minute of it, even during those hard weeks.

I love smelling you.  You smell so new and fresh.  I love squeezing you, you have the biggest, most squeezable thighs that I have ever seen.  I love your smile, it melts my heart.  You squeal with delight often.  You smile easily.  You love being held in your sling.  You are a wonderful sleeper, most nights you sleep 7 pm until 6:30 am.  You look so cute in your matching outfits with your sister.

You are loved.  You have not even met your family yet in America or in Menado but I hope that you know, Baby, that they love you deeply and long to hold you tight and experience the joy that you bring to everyone here in Malang.

In our first video of you we call you "Kennedy".  That was your name for the first few hours of your life.  However, for some reason "Caroline" kept ringing in my ear.  You see for four months of my pregnancy with you I watched your Aunty H cheer.  She did this very cute dance to the song "Sweet Caroline" once during every game.  That song just stuck in your Papa and my head.  When we held you the song rang so true.  You are so sweet and good times are just that much more good with you in our life now.  You are our Sweet Baby C.  You always will be.

The 6 months during 2010 that we were able to hold you and love on you have been some of the happiest moments of my life.  I look forward to watching you grow into the beautiful lady that God created you to be.  Every day I give thanks for you and your sister.  What a beautiful family we have become.

Merry Christmas, Baby C.  I hope you know, and always know, that you are deeply, deeply loved by your Papa and your Mama and most importantly by your God.

Merry Christmas 2010 Big C

Big C, you are a joy.  You have the ability to make even the saddest person feel a bit of joy when you look at them with your big brown eyes and your big toothy smile.  I love it when you do something that frustrates your Papa, such as drop cookie crumbs all over the house, and then when he lets out his sigh you hug him and say "It's fine Papa".  How can we ever be angry with you?

I love laying in bed with you at night and "reading" you stories (Big C we are actually telling you stories) about Dora, Barbie or Jesus.  I especially loved last night holding you in my arms and telling you about Jesus' birth and why we needed Him to be born so badly.  I loved when you said "Jesus got spanked so we don't have to be spanked?"!  Hahahaha Yes, Big C, we get to spend forever and ever in the presence of a good and great God because of Jesus.  I know you don't get it all right now and I don't really know how to explain it all to you yet and that is ok.  You already understand that you are loved by the One that created you.  If you are able to remember that through all the highs and lows of your life then you will do ok.  Big C, know that you are loved by the Creator and by many, many others.

I love watching you sing and dance.  You are so much NOT like me and I love that about you.  You want to be a ballerina, you dream of the day you get to go to Aunt Kelly's dance classes in America.  You spin around this house, kicking your legs up, and your arms over your head and ask me "Is this how a ballerina dances".  I always say you are dancing beautifully while honestly, baby, I have no idea how a ballerina dances!

You want a Barbie for Christmas.  One year for my birthday my parents (your Memaw and Pop-o) gave me Barbies; I gave them away.  However, you hold the Barbie boxes in the stores like they are the most precious treasure in the entire world.  I always said that I would not get my girls Barbies but a few days ago I bought you one.  How can I deny you something that means so much to you?  I wait with anticipation for tomorrow morning when you get to open it.

We left America 11 months ago.  I thought by now you would have forgotten all those that you left who love you.  You haven't.  Daily you ask to go to Cousin "Savior's" house.  You want to play trains with him and you promise you will share.  When I say we don't have enough money right now you say "You can have my "bank bank" to buy plane tickets".  You are so sweet.  You can keep your "bank bank", I promise to get you back soon.  You miss Pop-o giving you marshmallows in the morning, you miss sitting in Memaw's lap as she whispered sweet nothings into your ear.  You miss marching with Aunt Hannah and being loved on by Aunt Elysisisisbith.  You talk about riding on your Uncle Paul's shoulders like crazy because you just aren't quite as tall when you are on Papa's shoulders.

You, my love, enjoy art.  Again, you are not much like me.  You ask me to draw you stuff and I have no idea where to begin.  So you just do it yourself.  You have been drawing circles since before you were two and now you are drawing triangles and squares and people and trees.  You never cease to amaze me.  

You talk in two languages fluently and you speak bits of Spanish and Javanese as well.  You go between them with ease and you can even translate.  You know who to speak "glish" to and who to speak "nesia" to.  You talk all the time.  If no one is close or paying attention to you, you just talk to yourself.  I honestly think that you are never quiet.  Something is always coming out of your mouth!  Usually it is some song that you are making up as you go.

You are smart, you are beautiful, you love people, you love to smile.  You, Big C, are our Lala, our joy, our daughter.  

Merry Christmas, 2010

Love,
Your Mama K and Papa D

riding on shoulders

I remember riding on my dad's shoulders often as a little girl.  The view was so different from my normal one that I had on my own two feet.  I'm sure Dad's shoulders ached but onward he would march with me in tow.

Now I'm old enough that I have my own daughter on my shoulders.  I know now for sure that Dad's shoulders ached 25 or so years ago as he carried me.  Big C is full of glee when she is riding high on Mama K or Papa D's shoulders.  The view is so different for her.

Sometimes I long to ride on the shoulders of God.  I long to see the view from up there.  Perhaps I would see that Big C's tantrum phase is really only for a moment or that Baby C will eventually stop all of her drooling and a tooth will come.  Perhaps I would see just how much I should enjoy each day because each day that passes will be a day that I don't get back.  I am sure that on God's shoulders I would be full of glee.

You know sometimes I think I am on God's shoulders.  Sometimes, through prayer usually, my perspectives do change.  God does lift us up and allows us to see the greater view that God sees.  When this happens I am reminded of just how full of joy my life is.

It's Thanksgiving again.  I have had 31 Thanksgivings.  I am thankful for that.  I am thankful for this moment, right now, when I can reflect and see the view that I most often miss from being too focused on the details that are right in front of me.  I am thankful that God can pick me up and allow me to see just how great this creation is and that no matter what problems we are facing our lives can still be full of joy as we look out at the view from the shoulders of God.

Does that make sense?

Our Life

I'm sorry for the long silence.  We have had a lady from Charleston, SC out here for the past month putting fish farms up at many of our sites in Kalimantan to help the sites produce more income for their schools and what not.  She was an absolute blessing to me.  She is exactly one month younger than my mom.  We had almost an instant bond however because of that friendship I had a hard time taking time for the blog.  Well we put her on the plane today so I am back.  I love my faithful readers, sorry if I let you down.

Anyway, we had Starbucks drinks today when we were in the big city.  I was alone with Caroline in Starbucks for a bit and was looking at all of the Christmas decorations and mugs.  Before I knew it my eyes were teared all up as I was flooded with memories from last Christmas.  Last Christmas I was preggers and in America.  I remember shopping with my parents one day and then stopping off at Starbucks.  The smells and the decorations today were the same as that day.  I am always amazed at how smells can bring on such strong memories.  I miss you parents.  We had such a good Christmas with you last year.

While our "fish lady" was here we went to the safari again.  This time Clara had the courage to ride the pony.  She has ridden the elephant 6 times in her 2 years of life but has always wanted to ride the pony but has been too scared.  I know, backwards right...Well she did it this time!  Caroline also had some fun with a chimp, she even had her picture taken with the chimp!

Baby C Has Her Own Plans

When Big C was a baby she taught me a lot.  So when Baby C was born I had a lot of "plans" for how this infancy was going to work for the two of us.  First off she was born a "big" baby, especially for Indonesians, at 4.1 kilos.  Everyone who came to visit told me that I was so lucky because a "big" baby would sleep through the night faster.  That is FALSE.  All of you who said that are wrong.  Yes, Baby C has given us some good nights of sleep, even almost a week of 10 hours each night.  However, a big baby just means that they have more belly that they want to fill up.  (I will expand on this later)

The other plan I had for us is that she would stay my "blob" for a very long time.  I was hoping for the first five months she would just lay where I put her and would not move.  As I have already discussed with you she started moving her body in circles during her second month of life and rolling in her third month of life.  On Tuesday she will be four months and I need to admit that I am scared of what this month will bring.

My next plan was to keep her on breast milk alone through the first six months of her life.  So far that has been working out great for us.  However, when she reached about 15 pounds a week or so ago she started waking every four hours to nurse again during the night.  I discussed this with my local, American ped here and some friends and decided a few things could be causing this.  1) She had a cold and that got her out of her sleeping rhythms 2) Growth Spurt 3) She is just looking for a cuddle or 4) SHE'S HUNGRY.  Over the last 10 days I have been trying to figure out which one is causing our problem.  Here is my conclusion after my thorough study (Thank God I learned the Scientific Method in Grade School):

It could be the cold thing or the cuddle so to rule that out I have let her cry through the middle of the night feeding.  80% of the time this is not working at night.  When she wakes from nap early if I delay getting her she 100% of the time will go back to sleep.  At night; not so much.  Also, let's say Papa D gets her, he can't calm her down.  She will only calm once she gets to have some milk.  So I feel I can rule these two reasons out.
It could be a growth spurt....but for 10 days!!! Lord, if that is the answer then please HAVE MERCY!  This baby can't keep growing like this!
Which leads me to she is hungry.  I honestly think this is the answer.  When I feed her at night she goes to town.  She eats a full meal and she does it fast.  She does not dose off while nursing until she gets all that she needs.  
Conclusion: I think Baby C is hungry.

Response to Conclusion: I think I need to start feeding her a little and see if this helps.  Problem: I can not get rice cereal here unless it has added sugar or MSG.  Solution: Make your own!  Grind up uncooked rice.  Boil 1 cup of water.  Add 1/4 of ground rice, whisk constantly as it cooks for 10 minutes.  Add formula or breast milk until it reaches the consistency that your baby needs.  Add fruit or veggies if they are ready.  WOW, I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD MAKE YOUR OWN RICE CEREAL AND NOT BUY IT IN A BOX!  How amazing is that!

So back to my plans....I'm throwing them in the trash.  Big C and now Baby C are teaching me that I can plan all day long but my plans will not control them.  They are who they are and I give thanks for that.  Parents, if you haven't learned yet, you have to let your kids grow as they are ready, test boundaries on their timeline, move mountains when they can and not when you say.  Let our kids be themselves not us.  We can teach them what is right and what is wrong, we can teach them truth but we can not hold them back from growing up.  If this were not true I'm sure my parents would have me living in America right now.

I hope my girls take their time growing up but if they choose to run at full speed then we all better back up and watch them turn that run into flight.

Uncooked rice cereal, we haven't tried preparing it yet

Aunt Big H

Aunt Big H sent Baby C some pjs.  They are special because they are covered in VW bugs just like Aunt Big H drives written on one of the cars is "Going to Auntie's".  How special is that?  Here are some photos of Baby C showing off her new PJs:

Thank you Aunt Big H!!

Grandpa Do Not View

We found a baby tokek outside of our house the other day.  It was trying to come in through the roof.  We don't want this to happen because these creatures will not let go of anything they bite.  So say if it bites your foot then you need to put your foot in the toilet until the creature drowns and lets go of you.  This has never happened to anyone that I know or to myself.  Still, I don't want to take any risk so Papa D had to catch it and dispose of it.  These are actually worth a lot of money because they have something in them that can make medicine.  Here is a picture of our tokek that is now gone.

Sorry everyone this is a picture of it without life

Sunday Morning

On Sunday mornings the Kaemba family heads off to our Indonesian church.  At 8:30 we attend Big C's Sunday School class which parents attend with their toddler.  This is such a special time as we help Big C learn about the love of Christ and all the ways that Christ has loved creation throughout history.  We enjoy spending time with the other parents and watching all of the children grow in the knowledge and love for our Savior.

If the story is about a boat, Big C will make her table into a "boat".

Soccer Game

We recently went to a local pro-soccer game.  It is a lot of fun as long as you can ignore the smoking or have a husband who will constantly ask people to stop smoking around his baby.  The local team has a new coach who is actually a friend of ours so this made going to the game even more special.  The coach is a German man who grew up here.  The team ended up winning in the 95th minute of the game off of a PK for an hand ball in the box!  That was pure excitement!

Many of the westerners went to cheer on our friend as new coach during his first home game!

Rolling Over

I promised you video of Baby C rolling.  I have tried and tried to post a video on here but it is taking forever.  I have left it for up to 5 hours uploading a video but it is still not done.  So pictures will have to do.  You can feel in the gaps with your minds' eye.

Photo Shoot

Well, I tried to have to get a good photo of the Cs' sitting together with Big C's arm around Baby C.  This is the best I could do.  I hope you enjoy!

Baby C is 16 Weeks Old!

Believe it or not; our Baby C is 16 weeks old.  She is a pure beauty and joy to us.  She is growing so fast and showing her personality.  Baby C loves Big C.  It is so obvious by the smile that she gives when she hears Big C's voice or sees her face.  A crying Big C can be brought to smiles by her big sister singing her a song or taking the time to lay down beside her.  Baby C must have decided that she wanted to keep up with her big sister because she started rolling over between 13-14 weeks so that she could get better looks at her sister's activity.  We are so blessed by their love for one another and pray that we can help them to nourish that love over the years.

I haven't taken a picture of Baby C rolling over yet (I know I am such a slack mom) but I will try and get one as soon as she wakes.

Now we need to get ready for our night out in the rain at the soccer match!

Breaking Bread

Breaking bread together is a very important part of life.  Christ did it many times during his years of ministry.  We follow that example as well as we can.  Here we are eating ribs together with some good friends and some Canadian guest.  If you come to visit us we will love to break bread with you as well!

Style

Our girls' clothing comes from others.  I have bought a very minimal amount of clothing and have received the rest.  Hand-me-downs or new, we accept all clothing with smiles.  This outfit was put together by Aunt Kitty and Memaw.  The Dora was given by our good friend Tina!  Now everyone who contributed to this outfit did not do so with this outcome in mind.  However, I think that our Big C did a very good job of mixing her wardrobe to create her own style.  Purple is the color that runs through each piece of clothing and brings it all together.  She also is revealing to us her love for tutus.  She was given a gold tutu for her 1st bday from Aunt Kitty and she has never looked back.  We look forward to the day that Big C receives her first dance lesson from Aunt Kelly.  Finally, I would like to comment on Dora.  Dora is the closest thing to Big C's comfort item.  She has never taken to anything really that is a must have for bed or new situations.  However, she does like "showing" Dora the great life that she lives.  In this picture Dora is enjoying a nice dance with Big C.  We all need friends who will dance with us!

I asked for her to smile for the camera.  This is what I received.  Such a lovely child.

Waiting

I'm waiting.  Waiting to hear news; waiting to hear something, anything.  While you wait for news your brain begins to make its own news.  Sometimes you can imagine the best news and your reaction to it.  Sometimes you imagine the worse news and your reaction to it.  I remember waiting about 9 months ago to hear if our daughter would have downs syndrome or not.  That was a long week for me.  I imagined so many different outcomes and reactions.  The night before I find out she would not have DS I was overcome with a sense of peace that no matter the outcome everything would be alright.  I am waiting for that peace to wash over me now.  I am waiting.

Life is so beautiful.  I have always loved living.  My life has not always been full of joy but even in the tears I have loved living.  Tears and laughter are both important parts of life.  Beginnings as well as endings are beautiful parts of life.  In between the beginning and the ending, for me, is almost too hard to describe with one adjective.

I like relationships.  My dad wrote me a love letter when I was 16.  He told me that the most important part of our lives are our relationships with others and with God.  I think Christ said something similar to that when He said the greatest commandment is this "love your God and love your neighbors as yourself".  I really do try to do this.  I fail...I fail a lot.  I get frustrated with "my neighbors".  I get annoyed with them and even angry.  I make jokes about them actually.  I am not nice really.  I hope though that my love wins out in the end.  I really do love the people in my life.  I like the interactions between people.  I even like to watch others interacting.  I love the banter of a good conversation, the back and forth like a tennis match.  I like watching people care for one another.  I love watching someone bend over and help another up.

Life is beautiful.  With the ups and with the downs, I will always say life is beautiful.

Love.  Love is key.  I wish we could stop our need for putting people into groups.  I wish we could stop looking at how we are different and focus on how we are alike.  I wish we could focus on how to help each other through our times of tears and how to laugh with each other through our times of joy.  I think that I truly hate divisions.  Divisions break my heart.  I wish we could go into the discomfort of true unity.  That we could embrace each other because we are the same in so many ways.  Love.  Love is key to solving the problems of this world.  Not bombs.  Not divisions.  Not war.  Not pointing fingers.  Just Love.  I capitalize Love on purpose.

Today can we look at each person we pass on the street and focus on what unites us and not what divides us.  As I wait for news, as I wait for peace to come washing over me like the rains of Indonesia, I will turn my focus not towards the unknown but towards this day.  I will focus on loving others.

I wait.  I Love.  Peace come.

Sleeping

Sleeping is a big issue for the C's.  Big C has had issues with sleeping for a very long time.  Naps seem to have become easier for her now and I thank God for that every time that they go over smoothly.  She needs her flashlights, her Santa pillow, some books and sometimes her Dora doll to be able to fall asleep without tears or a fight.  Sometimes even with all of those things she still has some tears, bless her heart.  I found her asleep like this earlier this week:

Who needs a stuffed animal when you have flash lights to snuggle with?

I am thankful though that my 2 1/2 year old still takes an afternoon nap rather we have to fight for it or it goes smoothly.

Now Baby C on the other hand has been a very good sleeper from about 2 months on.  However, recently she has started rolling over.....
You have to know that when Big C was a baby she started rolling over at three weeks from belly to back.  So with Baby C I have made an effort to not let that happen.  A baby that can not move yet is much easier to handle in my opinion.  My plan was to not do "belly time" with Baby C so that she could not start rolling over from belly to back until I was ready.  She has mainly been held in a sling, sat in a bouncy chair or car seat, or laying in her bed sleeping.  I am not sure where I went wrong but about a week ago she rolled over for the first time from back to belly.  She doesn't like it when she does this because she has never been on her belly and this is strange to her.  So now my good sleeper has started rolling over in her sleep as well and wakes herself up.  Baby C has gone from taking 2-3 hour naps to waking herself after 1 hour to 1.5 hours.  I know that is still a good nap but people, I miss her 2 hour naps!!!!

Baby C rolled over in sleep, long pillow there placed after she rolled so she wouldn't roll herself back and wake up again

A side note, don't get all judgmental about the pillow she is sleeping on.  I confirmed with a doctor that a firm, baby pillow was ok to use.  This addition to her bed is what helped her to start sleeping for longer periods because it raised her some so her acid reflux would not bother her while sleeping.  Seriously, Americans are too caught up in safety issues....

First Drawings

Yesterday I was making a calendar for my parent's trip here next January while Big C and Baby C were napping.  Big C woke up, came out of her room and into my lap.  She saw that I was using the back of a paper in her paint book that Aunty B had sent her.  So she informed me that I was using her paper and she wanted to use it.  I gave her my pen and her book back and she proceeded to draw her first people ever!  I was so impressed that I had to share her work with the blog family.  I am her mom so remember that I am impressed with Big C over everything even how she can throw a fit!  Anyway here is her art work.  My Big C is growing up and I am cherishing every moment that she crawls into my lap these days.

This is Mama K, we started writing Mama together but never got the last "a" written.

The colors coming through are from her painted picture on the other side.  These are "balloon people".